This was our topic last week, and talking with guys it is a rampant experience amongst most of us, as toxic bosses we gathered exist amongst us. The values and ethics that are entrenched in each business vison and mission many times remain on that piece of paper they are written on. This leads to unprofessionalism of many kinds from name calling, to even sexual violence. Work life balance is a foreign concept in such surroundings because one’s work does not count, as this is a more emotional experience than a factual one. You may have ticked all the boxes in the job description, yet made to feel like you have done nothing, and if you did, it was wrongly done. Narcissism and Gas lighting at the work environment makes one feel redundant and hopeless.
When stretched to certain limits, this leads to sickness. In a conversation a friend shared how a two-month insomnia led to a doctor giving her a two day off, and once off that environment she slept like a baby. Someone else shared how they got palpitations, and the doctor thought there was a heart problem. The ended product was spending a lot of cash doing an ECG, only to discover it was a result of chronic stress. The person in question was given anti-depressants and slept for two straight days. Someone else shared getting migraine triggers, and had to take a day off.. Daily insults despite work being done was the experience of another friend. This led to anger issues and one day snapped at the authority figure. Chronic ailments become much more expensive than the salary thrown one’s way.
The mind when exhausted is a tricky place to be at. Rest is not a favour but the most important task one can do to be their refreshed best self. Being removed from such environments helps the mind recalibrate and get back to normal settings. The office of the Human Resource (HR) is the one entrenched with the responsibility of the workers well-being, but most seem to have slept on the job. Some are said to side with the attacker, and instead of dealing with the issue, they keep it under wraps for the sake of the company reputation. Lack of transparency in a work place leads to such cases.
Alignment of personal goals and the institution need to be taken into consideration when one is deciding on a workplace, not just the remuneration. Personal and work place boundaries are necessary to have clear guidelines of how to behave and actually follow it to the letter. Good support systems to channel out issues you are facing also help ease the tension at the workplace. This provides a healthy outlet. Knowing your workplace rights will help you be aware when they are being violated.
Self-care holistically goes a long way to making one be at peace with themselves regardless of the external environmental challenges, as peace comes from within. This keeps a healthy mental space. It leads to self-control, as one discovers how to maneuver scenarios not in their mental wellness favor, as peace is more important than anything thrown your way. This is because the knowledge that we have individuals with narcissistic, abnormal behavior helps understand they are the problem not you. They are sick, as they project their issues to innocent bystanders.
Therapy is very helpful, to just go see a professional and let it all off, what one is going through; when you feel it has become too much. It is not shameful to do so, but so crucial yet underrated in our society as we think that is not necessary. When physical injured one runs to a doctor, and when the mind is messed up the same should be done.
Proper measures of detoxing one’s environment daily really helps one. Ranting to people who get you takes it off your shoulders. We also discovered when you walk away narcissistic people get scared that you will leave them, and standing up to their bullying once in a while does the same. That’s good having your friends by your side to share experiences. We felt great sharing our challenges in our WhatsApp group. Talking really helps. It is also true just like bullies they can’t handle you standing up for yourself. Knowing how to manage one self’s emotions is a super power. Remember your mental health comes first. Let’s Talk.
Gakuru Githinji,
Author of The Present Hindsight,
FB: The Present Hindsight
IG: @gakurugithinji13
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